-1

This may seem like coming from a bitter place but I don’t mean it to be.There is a reason when you are single why you can hang out with certain friends in doses. In my case, I think it is because I am the one in the bunch who is on a very different path that most of my girlfriends. It isn’t exactly what I planned for or even expected but I can’t help but feel different when I am in the company of some of my girlfriends. It may be the simple fact that I am the remaining single girl or the one in the unstable career path. I will say sometimes when being in a social situation, it is just extremely easy to sit back and not chime in. When I do chime in, it really just comes out as a curious question or to be nice. Again, it is because of where I am. Sometimes there is a reason why couples and singles hang out together or apart. It is because after a while the conversations become a whole different country where we no longer speak the same language. I mean that happens I guess. It isn’t always so bad though, it is just when you put all of them in one room (I am actually laughing at the thought) …. husbands, wedding talk, talk of children, new houses, proposals – it is nonstop! While it is great and I am so happy for all my gal pals, it definitely does make you feel a bit like “oh so I went out to this cool place the other day”. Yeah you kind of start falling short of anything interesting to bring to the table for anyone who is love struck or on the domesticated path. I am in neither and maybe once upon a time I was, which feels forever ago now but it really is different now. Add a little bit of the whole “we aren’t getting younger” and it is enough to give you some serious anxiety or nervousness when realizing you are the late bloomer of the bunch. Still despite all this, I do want the “it” everyone seems to gush about but my cards are just lined differently. Different choices, situations, yada yada yada. Guess in the meantime, I will continue to be the observer and keep my singlehood to myself. On the upside, being single all over again has definitely given me and continues to give me a chance to have different kind of experiences by myself. Maybe in one of those I will find my +1.

– F.Scott Fitzgerald

The “Visualization”

For most people, it all started out with the famous book, The Secret. It stressed on the importance of visualizing your future – the dream board. Corny? Yes. But it works. Everyone knows that it is human nature to need constant visualization of your goals. It serves as a daily reminder of future goals, no matter how big or small.

I’m not any different than most. I read the book and thought – genius. Even more than anything, I believe in the Laws of Attraction. If you constantly believe in the good and attract good vibes as well as give them out, I think that you welcome positivism. As oppose to those other people, the ones one the dark side who always see the glass half empty and when someone else is doing good, their immediate response or reaction is only to compare or belittle. As much as times we can’t help but maybe feel a little jealousy (again we are all humans here, right?), it is important to always be happy and wish others well. Hey they’re  just like you, with the same amount of hours in a day to make it happen.

More and more, I realize how having a visual of the things you want helps you to work that much harder for it and not lose sight. I will say that as time passes I’ve had to unpin a few and add a few. That’s life, as time passes, the things that really matter or you truly want change with age.

So print it, cut it, visualize it and go for it.

How do you know…

…when to call it quits?

I mean the answer probably seems easy right? It’s not working so move on. I wish but everyday we read these motivational crap and “don’t give up” or the famous “don’t stop believing” song which we all secretly wish was the theme song to our lives (it’s in my soundtrack).  I am seeking the answer for this question in general. Work. Relationships. Career choices. School. Hey even married life! How do you know when a certain something is not for you? But then again what if you give up too early and you DID have a chance – that just makes you a quitter. Guess I feel I am in that place in my life right now. Damn 20s. Really are the “figure it out” years.

“Like Crazy”

It’s always the Indie films that seem to get to me. I admit I was debating watching this movie due to the fact that I was in a long distance relationship a long time ago.  I thought I would find a common ground with the couple in the movie but it seem to be the opposite. For anyone who has seen “Like Crazy” before, which I absolutely loved, I fell so in synced with Samantha (played by Jennifer Lawrence). While I was in a long distance relationship that obviously did not work out, it wasn’t exactly because we had this undying love like the two main characters had – nope. Instead, I got to be the girl on the other end of the stick, the one who fell for a guy who was not over his ex. In my case, they also got married resulting in – you guessed it – being dumped. While our relationship was different and I definitely see that now in the sense that I don’t think it had such a strong bond as I did then…. going through someone dumping you and marrying someone else right away hurts LIKE CRAZY. The fact that the Samantha character went back to him during their separation made me of course want to root for her, I love rooting for the underdog, who undoubtedly got dumped yet again when the other girl’s visa was FINALLY accepted. I think for anyone who has been in a long distance relationship this movie will definitely bring back serious reminders of questions asked, awkward silences and most of all, undying belief that your love is DIFFERENT and will overcome it all. Even though for me it was not as good, did not end up with the guy, just completely heartbroken (at the time), you can’t help but think how crazy these two are to have such an intense need to be with each other. It kind of shows that hey maybe in some cases love can overcome the distances, obstacles and even other relationships that happen in between. It also serves as a reminder that while love can be beautiful – it is messy, hurts like hell and makes you compromise more than you want. Add a thousand of miles in between and all that multiplies. Still watching this movie, you sympathize with the couple and their crazy love for each other. Even if the ending was a bit bittersweet.

SPOILER ALERT: Through it all, they do end up together. I didn’t expect that because during this whole time they did meet other people that could have made them just as happy, if not more. The bittersweet part was felt more in knowing that even though they finally got what they wanted, being together, they had to start all over from scratch and renew their love. Even though I avoided watching it for some time, I think this is a great movie for anyone whose ever been in a long distance relationship – good or bad. I will say long distance is no joke. It’s promising to commit to someone who will not be by your side the whole time. You are signing up to constantly miss someone and feel miserable without them. So yes there better be some serious loving between you two, otherwise, it won’t work. Oh yeah did I forget to mention, it sucks?

– “What have you been doing?”              

– “Waiting for you.”