Mind: Friend or Foe?

Your mind has a funny way of working with you or against you. I will use my friend “Jenny” as an example. Dear sweet Jenny has quite the vivid imagination. As of recently she is hooked on making assumptions and when it comes to her current relationship her mantra seems to be “guilty until proven innocent”. While I get she has been burned (haven’t we all) and has her reasoning for drawing such conclusions out of thin air, it isn’t exactly the healthiest way to go about it.

My advice to her? I am in a whole different place as far as relationships go, but objectively I don’t think the new guy has done anything that deems him guilty for sins or bad habits the old guy committed. One shouldn’t blame or judge a certain part or situation of their life based on the previous. There is a big difference between learning from experience and blaming based on experience. It doesn’t mean that you cannot enter a new stage of your life with an open mind. Yes, you should be a bit wiser and aware. That’s a given. Yet to let your mind steer you in a negative way as oppose to a new and positive outlook is a big no no. One that will probably result in you making the same mistakes. So while we should all be smart and learn from the mistakes in our past, we also cannot have a preconceived notion that every situation will play out the same. That kind of mentality leads to not taking chances and being open to change.

“Mind” & Happiness

“A mind that wants to wander round a corner is an unwise mind…”

-George Harrison

The mind truly is like a sponge. It will take every nook and cranny of your surroundings and over analyze it like there is no tomorrow.  I recently read a couple of articles about the mind and its effect on happiness. The whole central them in every one of these articles was the perception between internal and external happiness. I know it may sound like some excerpt from a “Happiness comes from within” type of self help book, but it couldn’t be more true.

With time, I have realized that things that at one point seem to be such a big deal later on couldn’t be more meaningless than a candy wrapper thrown on the street. The mind is such a powerful tool and most of us don’t even put all of it to use. It has an intense control over your emotions and the way you perceive life. Ever had something happen to you that seem to be like it was the end of the world? At times like this, your mind can be your best friend and your worst enemy – building up different scenarios all leading it up to a negative outcome. Maybe at the moment it really did feel like your life was over or screwed up or whatever but then time happens. With time this so called end of the world event turns into a bridge towards something positive. When we let our minds run away with our imagination, it cannot only result in negativity but crazy anxiety. I give props to people who are able to meditate, that is being able to wipe your slate clean for a few minutes and just give it a rest from your everyday troubles or concerns.

All these articles did make one point… your idea of virtual reality can cause virtual insanity. Not everything that glitters really is gold. Okay I am done with the cliches here but point is that while you may think something external might make you happy – it’s not always the truth. At the end of the day, it comes from yourself and keeping your mind in check and BUSY. Doing stuff that you like to do and make you feel good just because. Not for some image reason but simply yourself. Many people don’t do this anymore, their happiness depends on others or what society perceives as a “a happy life”. Of course it varies for all but if you’re not happy with yourself there is no way someone else could. Instead you might drag them down with you. Even in a study a Harvard psychologist, Matthew Killingsworth, came to the conclusion that when your mind wanders off it can cause unhappiness – probably due to the fact that it becomes so involved with the what ifs that it forgets to be in the now. I am not trying to sound like “The Secret” but hey that guy had a point too. Did we need a whole repetitive book to realize this? Not really but it all centers around the mind. Law of Attraction – it’s based on your perception of life and bringing what you want to yourself. The whole vision board thing? Again, the mind. If you put your mind to getting what you want and work for it, ninety nine percent of the time you will. If you don’t like something then the solution is quite easy: change it. Strive to be in that place that makes you happy. Even with all the riches in the world if you don’t have that happiness in you that solely comes from being content with one self then what good is all the stuff around you.

Experiences are part of everyday life – good and bad ones. There are days where you feel you might go crazy but sometimes you got to slow down and realize one thing. We all have one life and it has an expiration date so this means you have to live in the moment. Don’t let your mind wander away where you can’t control your own emotions and how you feel. Learn that there are some things you CANNOT control and that it is okay. Keep your mind in check and exercise it by doing positive things that bring you self fulfillment – I know I sound like a Ram Dass / Oprah advocate but hey they didn’t make their millions without proving some kind of point. Just be your own version of happiness.