Your mind has a funny way of working with you or against you. I will use my friend “Jenny” as an example. Dear sweet Jenny has quite the vivid imagination. As of recently she is hooked on making assumptions and when it comes to her current relationship her mantra seems to be “guilty until proven innocent”. While I get she has been burned (haven’t we all) and has her reasoning for drawing such conclusions out of thin air, it isn’t exactly the healthiest way to go about it.
My advice to her? I am in a whole different place as far as relationships go, but objectively I don’t think the new guy has done anything that deems him guilty for sins or bad habits the old guy committed. One shouldn’t blame or judge a certain part or situation of their life based on the previous. There is a big difference between learning from experience and blaming based on experience. It doesn’t mean that you cannot enter a new stage of your life with an open mind. Yes, you should be a bit wiser and aware. That’s a given. Yet to let your mind steer you in a negative way as oppose to a new and positive outlook is a big no no. One that will probably result in you making the same mistakes. So while we should all be smart and learn from the mistakes in our past, we also cannot have a preconceived notion that every situation will play out the same. That kind of mentality leads to not taking chances and being open to change.
On The Rocks 