Be Definitive.

I think it had been a while since I had genuinely just felt happy for no apparent reason. I hate to be the girl who admits it’s over a guy but hey that’s life, it is filled with emotions that we have to face and then let go. Best way to do that? Keep yourself busy. Allow yourself to give your mind room for new ideas. I think for so long I have been focusing on wanting to mend a broken relationship instead of just work on me. I have a long way to go and a list of both big and small goals I want to achieve. For some dumb reason, I thought I needed someone by my side to do this which I don’t. Yes there are moments where I think I got lonely and I was acting out on those emotions. It was definitely clouding my judgment, making me believe that going back to something that wasn’t right for neither of us was what I wanted or better than nothing. But call it a crazy snap or whatever, I just woke up and all of a sudden feel this whole new sense of relief. I am not sure what it is yet but I am going to use the following months to figure it all out. There are a couple of hobbies I have been wanting to get into that I keep saying and don’t do it, one if them involving fashion. The older I am getting the more I admired and love it. Been wanting to buy a bicycle even though I have the balance of a five year old kid (they probably can ride it better than me) and yet haven’t done it when I have all the time in the world.

But yes back to today, it was just one of those days where I felt good and just positive. I have been dwelling on such pessimistic thoughts that I am really wasting my time in doing what I want to actually do. I hung out with this random person I kind of know from a place I frequently hang out because so close to me and she gave me the best advice I have heard in a while. It is okay to try at something and fail or be rejected but then be definitive, move on and go find what is right for yourself. It doesn’t necessarily apply to just relationships but every aspect of your life whether it be jobs, friendships, self fulfillment. It was such a simple little message. Be definitive.  It resonated with me and made me want to follow that path.

Already I have decided to take a few steps, some that I do not want to mention yet until I actually see myself putting them into effect. Guess I am challenging my own self at this point. I mean if you really look at it, your life is what you want to make of it. Not to sound like some cheesy line in a Tom Hanks movie or something, but if you take a negative road then that is exactly what it will lead to. More and more I have seen that when you do things right, surround yourself with positive people, you start to believe in much better things along with making them happen. And hey people call me a dreamer (that sounds like it is from a song) but it is the crazy ones who dare to who are sometimes the happiest people. So here’s to trying and working like crazy to start a new chapter in my life.